Friday, June 4, 2010

Goodbye Kyla Jeanne

Today I had to do one of the hardest things in my life. Say goodbye to my friend, and speak at her funeral. If you know me, you know public speaking is one of my greatest fears. The other one is being naked in public. My pants were a little loose today and I was afraid I would have to confront both of my fears on the same day, but I persevered. My mom told be "Don't be nervous, just think of it as it is the very last thing you will be able to do, to honor your friendship." I clung to those words today but I was surprised where I found my other source of strength. All of the friends, that Kyla held so dear, were in the crowd. When I felt myself waiver, all I had to do was look up and there were the faces smiling back at me. Thank you all so much. I needed you today and you were there.

Kyla Jeanne--Like the wind that whispers through the trees, your spirit is around me. Memories of our adventures together make my heart happy, and keep me going everyday- because I had a friend like you.
It's strange how our lives paralleled each other so closely. How we were in each others weddings, and were the shoulders for each other to cry on for the divorces! And when medical problems began to plague us--It was amazing that we picked up the phone at the same time because we had a 'feeling' that one of us was in trouble. I learned so much about Crohn's disease going to support groups with you and I couldn't of found the strength to deal with my Multiple Sclerosis with out your support.
One time Kyla and I went to her support meeting and we were late, because that's just me. We snuck into the meeting as quiet as we could. It was a great meeting and we were learning A LOT. Half way through the meeting I turned to Kyla and said" I think I have Crohn's disease too!! I get those symptoms and feelings they are talking about!!" Kyla nodded in amazement. When we got up to mingle at break time is when we made the discovery that we were in the wrong ROOM! We were attending the Bi-Polar Support Group!!! Our standing joke, when ever something was going on in our lives was "But you know...we ARE Bi-Polar"!
Recently Kyla and I have been working to reopen her dad's photography studio. We were questioning what to call it. I said "I don't know if it was Confucius or Oprah that said it but if God wants you to pay attention he tosses you a pebble. If you are really not listening he tosses a brick!" and Kyla says "Well it looks like the only thing that will save us is a BOULDER!" And the studio had a name...
...The Brick & Boulder Gallery.

Since I was a sophomore in high school it was YOU that gave me my inner voice. "It doesn't matter what other people think, it's YOU that counts" and " The most important things in life..are not THINGS!" It was then that you talked me into competing for the Miss Colfax Pageant. And even after all of my excuses of "But I am not popular---or one of the smart ones---or I don't have a dress!" I remember your face beaming with joy as they placed that princess crown on my head as I was standing there in a gown that was lovingly hand made by your mom.

It was because of you, Kyla, that I have discovered my own beauty by lessons learned while discovering yours.

Thank you for sharing your parents! I don't know how your dad survived all of my photography questions! To your mom who showed me beauty in art that is considered 'not the norm' and how a little tie-dyed fabric is a beautiful accessory to any ensemble....and to smile everyday!!!

When you asked me to photograph your fathers funeral service, it was a great honor. But I thought you might of asked me to, to test our friendship. YOU KNEW that the Military and the Native American ceremonies that were performed were NEVER to be photographed and were deemed SACRED! I can still hear your giggles as I told you how I had to 'pull up my big girl panties' and stand my ground and say "NO...everything WILL be photographed for the family!"

I remember saying" Quit laughing so I can tell you the rest!!!!"

I think that is what I will miss most about you .....your laugh. And knowing that I have someone in my corner, no matter what! That unconditional friendship only come along one in a million.

So now that you have gone home, say Hi to your Dad for me and keep a place for me, by your side. I will see you again someday, just not quite yet. But oh the catching up we will do!!

So for now, I will remember you......Every time it is still.....and then when the wind starts to whisper through the trees, I'll know you are with me....... my friend.


Wendy said...

Beautiful words and beautiful photos. Sorry for your loss.

Carol Larsen said...

I don't know if everyone knows it but---in the angel pic, that is Kyla's house in the background. The red roof.

*Suzy* said...

My dearest friend ... right now I'm laughing & my eyes have tears in them. Your words are 'heart felt' and 'candy' for my soul. I didn't know you were a photographer!!!! I'm so happy that you had the honor of having such special people in your life ... you are beautiful and I'm blessed & honored to call you my friend.

Me said...

I found your blog from farm chicks- Your memoir touched my heart and brought tears to my eyes. What a loving friend you must have been. Lisa Morse